just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
