Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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