there's paper in my vomit.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
