I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
