Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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