Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There r osticjed everywhere
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
