its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
