Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
