do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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