i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
