my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
