so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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