Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
