I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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