Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
