Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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