OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
