also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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