you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
