I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
should my penis look like a turkey
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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