first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I believe in your delicious
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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