You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
