are you still at the devil's house?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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