just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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