my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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