so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize