Yo dont text me then not text me
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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