Having a random hookup so left but love u
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
