Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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