mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
