bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
