porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
