Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
