if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
