I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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