I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
