Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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