There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize