Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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