You work out of a Hotel?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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