I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
