I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
