I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize