hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
