is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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