"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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