I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
