come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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