He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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