I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize