he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
