i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
