God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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