he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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