And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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