a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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