I wanna bring you to show and tell
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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