The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
