I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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