The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
