I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
