Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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