And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
