The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
