dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
